In the Know Joe

Dear Joe,

I’m a little embarrassed to be writing to you about this, but I consider myself a good girl and I really need some advice. I’m a freshman at a high school here in Amarillo and this really cute and hot senior has been talking to me. At first it was really flattering and I couldn’t believe he was actually interested in me and talking to me so much. We talk ALL the time – on facebook, MySpace, e-mail, phone, text messaging…you name it, we pretty much talk on everything!

I tried not to let myself like him so much because I just told myself he was only after one thing. I mean, he is one of those major jock star athletes so I couldn’t imagine why he was talking to me. But the more we are around each other, the more I really think he likes me for me, and not just to try and get something from me. He even told me that he LOVES me the other day! He hasn’t even pressured me to do stuff that I don’t feel comfortable doing, so that makes me think he totally respects me.

BUT, recently he has started sending me pictures of himself through text messages. And they aren’t just normal pictures. In a lot of them he’s pretty much naked and shows me things I am really not ready to see just yet. He tried to get me to take naked pictures of myself and send them back to him, but I told him I didn’t want to. He said that was totally cool, but that he wanted me to be comfortable with him and he wanted me to see him like that, so he said he was still going to send me pictures of himself. I’m not sure what to do about it. I like him sooooo much, but I don’t know how to tell him it makes me feel uncomfortable that he sends me those pictures and that I don’t want him to send them to me anymore. PLUS, if my mom found out, she would kill me! I delete every one I get and he doesn’t understand why, so I just tell him if my mom saw them I would get in trouble. He always just shrugs and keeps sending them. How do I tell him to stop without making him mad at me and stop liking me?

Sincerely,
Uncomfortably In Love


Dear Uncomfortably In Love,

You say he hasn’t pressured you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing, but that is exactly what he is doing by sending you explicit pictures of himself. Of course, you haven’t actually told him, so I guess maybe he might not realize that it makes you uncomfortable.

SO, you need to tell him that you don’t like it and don’t want him to send you those pictures! If he really “loves” you like he said he did, he will stop doing it and apologize for being a total jerk and doing something that makes you feel so uncomfortable. In all reality, if he was truly the good guy that you say he is, he wouldn’t have ever done that to begin with, at least not without talking to you about it first. And he would have stopped when you told him you would get into trouble if your mom saw. But I suppose giving him the benefit of the doubt, considering you say you like him so much, he may just be seriously ignorant and not realize how incredibly silly it is to send pictures like that. Not to mention that once those pictures are on a cell phone and sent to another phone, they are basically out there for the whole world to see. BUT, if he doesn’t understand when you tell him and he gets mad like you think he is going to, then honey, he DOES NOT love you, he IS only after one thing – SEX and he is an utter and total jerk. If he doesn’t understand and respect your wishes…he’s NOT worth it!!

I understand that dating relationships are hard for teens, but I just wish girls would get it through their heads that if guys don’t respect EVERY SINGLE thing about them, then they are NEVER worth it. So tell him to stop and see what he says. You are a good girl and you will know the right thing to do.

Join the Majority – WAIT

Joe